Tuesday, December 11, 2012

A Strange Friendship


I mentioned in my last post that i met an old friend, i did. Some weeks ago at a petrol station near my house, we were trying to buy fuel during one of the days of fuel scarcity, and because the attendants were only selling into kegs, i had gone home to get two extra kegs while my husband stayed on the queue. The plan was just to drop off the kegs and head back home, but my husband stopped me and introduced my 'friend' to me. I am not sure i should call him an old friend, as we had never seen each other until that moment, this is our story...


I was a reservation call center staff in an airline about eight years ago, and one day i booked a ticket for a really friendly guy on the phone, and when he sent someone to pick up his tickets, he sent me a good tip (win- win). By the time he made the next reservation, we talked some more, he asked me about my self , told me about himself, business etc and we became friends. Sometimes he would call me for bookings, sometimes he would call me just to talk. I discovered after sometime, that he was the son of a really rich and well known man (silly me, i never connected his last name). This was months to my wedding, and we remained friends. My then fiance, now husband met him, and they even did a small business venture together. We got married and he did not come for the wedding, ( he said he forgot), i was not offended, he is a super rich person and calling to remind him of my wedding just seemed like an 'overkill' to me.

We still remained 'phone' friends after i got married, he'd call usually when he needed someone to talk to or just to unwind, and i would send the occasional text message or call and he would always call me back and we would talk about his plans, growing up rich, why he was not in a hurry to get married even though he was  older than we were, what i was up too, my search for the idea job,etc.. Life happens, as it is bound to, and we stopped calling as such and sometimes we just sent the occasional sms to check up on each other (there was no facebook in those days) note; we still had not met, my husband had met him several times, he only sent me a picture and asked that i sent mine to him, which i did.
.

After a while he stopped calling and i was surprised (probably naive of me ), but just assumed he was busy and figured  it just wasn't convenient to call because he would call and spend at least 15 minutes on the phone with me on a good day. Looking back now, i think maybe it was just nice to gist with someone outside his usual circle,who was not asking him for money. Around that time also, my phone got stolen along with all my numbers and that was that, i was unable to reach him unless he called, but funny thing, my 'friend' never once called throughout this time. About two years later, i found a list with some of my numbers in an old diary,and i was so excited to see that his number was included in that list.

So i called, then called again, he neither picked up nor returned my calls, i assumed that it was either he had changed his number and i was calling someone else, or he did not have my number anymore and did not recognize who was calling, people like him do not pick calls from numbers they don't know ( do you see where this is heading?) so i send a polite text to the number asking if it was so and so person and i got no reply.. zilch..ouch!.  That just told me it was still his number and i had been snobbed, and i could not figure out why, so i called his office number twice and i was kept holding on, then told to call back...i was sad and confused, i should remind you here again that we had never actually met, we were goods friends only because we spoke on the phone a lot.

I don't take kindly to being snobbed especially by a rich person, it's just rubbing salt on the wound if you know what i mean. I told my husband and deleted his number (my husband thought i was over reacting by the way) and never called him again That was about three years ago. Sometimes i still wonder what the deal was, because we really did talk about real things, and i always enjoyed my conversations with him, he was really smart and he had traveled all over and seen many things. He once told me that i should never consider not having money a problem, he said 'a real problem was one that money could not solve'.But there it was i couldn't make him pick up my calls and i certainly wasn't going to go see him in his office and risk being embarrassed by a snotty secretary, all for someone i had never met? no way! I am factual like that.

So imagine my shock when my husband introduced us at the petrol station. If you knew me, you would know i don't mince words. The first thing i asked him was, what his problem was and why he became a  snob, at first he was shocked, then he denied it,  he said he had lost my number and couldn't remember getting a text from me blah blah, i insisted it was not so, i dared him to deny that his secretary did not tell him i had called his office at least twice, he said he had no recollection of any such incident since it was so long ago, my husband even said i was too hard on the guy, that i should be nice, so out of curiosity, and not because i always listen to my husband. Instead of going home, i stood with him and my husband on the long fuel queue and we talked about him, he said he was bored so he decided to come buy the fuel himself instead of sending someone, and he was pretty excited about it, i told him hustling was not that exciting if you do it everyday like we did. He laughed at my comment and said i had not changed one bit, and we talked about his new business, why he still wasn't married yet, my struggles with having a second child, and getting a new job, he and my husband spoke about business..  and it was just like old times. He apologised sincerely ( well it seemed so to me) and promised he would make it up to me, i told him i would forgive him only if he gets me a good job, and he agreed. I also told him i would not call unless he did so first, he said we had a deal.


I don't have an ending for this( i hate to be a tease, sorry) and i am genuinely confused all over again, because he took my number and promised he would call to redeem himself, and there is still no call almost a month later. I have not decided what to do, whether to call or send a mail at least or just accept that there was nothing happening there and move on. Your thoughts?

P. S, for all the aprokos, in case it was not clear before, he was JUST a friend, absolutely nothing happening there, if you wanna know about my love interests before hubby, maybe another post <wink wink>

Friday, November 2, 2012

Life Lately (random post)


   
                        
Hello People,

Its been a while, i have been super busy and have not had time to write. Just thought to let you know what has been happening around these parts lately..

- I have missed blogging terribly, i promise i have a dozen unfinished posts in my drafts, what?, you didn't know?, i am the queen of draft posts.
- I still try to read as much of your blogs as possible, i do try...
- The fuel scarcity is senseless, what is the matter with this country .ha!
- I don't know whats up with the NEPA tarrif now, we use a prepaid meter, it runs so fast, that we are now scared to put on AC or use the electric kettle..smh!
- Work is still there, i have had no luck in getting a new Job, but i am trusting God, who else am i going to trust uh?
- I met an old friend, i am not sure if i should call him an old friend, as we have never even seen each other before that day.. i will talk about him in my next post
- TTC is still elusive, most times i am fine with my precious boy, sometimes i want another child so badly it stops me in my tracks. Truth is i hardly think about it BUT everyone is pregnant around me so it's right there in my face.
- My boy is so grown up, so kind and thoughtful, so naughty and so intelligent, i couldn't have asked for a better child..i am blessed
- My son is obsessed so good with computer games, i don't know whether to be worried or proud, so far my four year old has set high scores on angry birds that none of us have been able to top ..oh well i guess he has time on his hands and we don't?.
- We were at Ibadan this holiday weekend for a wedding, i had so much fun and rested, i actually told hubby we should consider buying a property in Ibadan, did i just say that? i am a Lagos bred through and through, but something about IB just gets me.
         

- My husband and i celebrated our 7th year anniversary this weekend, i can't believe its been seven years, time flew, i am so thankful for the great times, we have had a lot of those, and even the 'not so great' times were essential ( although i didn't think so at that time), they were learning curves.
- At seven years of marriage, i thought we would have been done with child bearing, what can i say, life happens
- We had a huge party for my mom's 60th birthday party two weeks ago, gosh i didn't know we could pull it off . But pull it off, we did, my siblings and i have been saving and planning for this party for two years and it finally came and it was a fantastic day.... food, music, decor, everything was on point... every one was praying for us .. mum deserved it, she brought up 4 kids all alone  .. everyone said our tributes to her were touching, i would have shared them here, if i wasn't an anonymous blogger.
- I am considering writing about our lives growing up .. i think i will
- Is there a honest person left in Nigeria?, i ask because in planning for the party, we were duped not once but thrice; when we went to buy the Lace (*aso ebi) at the wholesale market in Lagos, 5 yards was missing out of one of the bundles.The bags of rice were not full bags, and of course the basket of tomatoes were padded halfway in mile twelve, that one is not even shocking because it can be done easily...please note this is not my first time shopping in any of these places and i am quite street smart. Those people made us look like **JJCs ...what is happening in Naija?
- The new blogger interface is so confusing for me, blogger why now? haven't you heard of 'if it ain't broke, don't fix it' ..ha!

That's all folks, enjoy your weekend, and shout out to Toin... hope to resume regular posting now


* Aso ebi - meaning uniform worn by a group of people at a social function
**Johhny just come.. meaning someone who is new in town

Tuesday, September 11, 2012

If you knew me..

This has pretty much gone round blogsville, but hey, i am still gonna do it...

If you knew me, You'd know....

That i began complaining about my vision when i was nine, that my mother would not hear of it because she probably thought ignoring a problem would make it go away or maybe she just refused to accept that i had inherited myopia from her

That i have been wearing glasses since i was 10 years and  3 months ( yep i remember the exact date i got the first pair)

That i have finally gotten over the fact that the doctors lied, my eye sight never improved, it just got worse ( ever so slightly)


That i still hate reading from that lighted screen at the optician's with mixed up alphabets and having light shone into my eyes, even though i have done it a million times

That there was a time when i couldn't wait to pierce an extra hole in my ear, that it used to be, my dressing was not complete without an ankle chain, that my mum and i fought endlessly about this, that i have no idea now who that person was

That i stopped putting an earring in the second hole, that i wanted to have it close up, but hubby convinced me to let it be, that i can't even stand ankle chains now

That the only form of exercise i do, is to make sure i walk everyday, that i don't think i will ever join a gym ( i'll let you know when that changes)

That i hate jogging, i hear its's a great way to exercise your whole body and it's right up there with swimming, but no, i'll rather starve..

That i still laugh when i remember my brother forcing encouraging me to jog round our estate, that it sometimes ended in me sitting on the floor and refusing to take one more step if he wouldn't let me walk back home

That i wish i had taken Taekwondo classes like my brother,( he has a black belt), that i really would have loved to kick the ass of any one who messes with me or mine, that i am a great fan of *Cynthia Rothrock, i think she was super cool.

That when i consider the amount of training my brother puts in, including hours of jogging and exercising, i am happy to die a wimp

That we enrolled my son in Taekwando classes, and he loves it, that i am living my dream through him plus getting extra two hours of sleep every Saturday when he is in class burning some of his plenteous energy, win-win!

That i adore my husband, that we still behave like newly weds a lot of times

That i get so much joy from watching my husband with my son, he is such a hands - on dad, i love it!

That i love my little boy to bits, that he makes me laugh everyday with his antics

That i am obsessed with looking at fresh/delicious looking food, either in the market or pictures of it

That my husband does not bat an eyelid when i make comments like 'babe look, that vegetable looks so fresh', or 'that plantain has such a great colour'

That i love Puff Puff, i can eat it everyday, same with Chicken/Chips and  Fried Plantain

That i know whole recipes by heart, that i love to experiment and tweak recipes to create new dishes, that i could totally blog about those..

That i could never run a food blog, i am not disciplined enough to do so

That i secretly wish i could live in a small town in Italy i love that place, and that language

That i would be glad if my husband was willing to relocate, i am so upset with this country

That i can move my ears and roll my tongue over, we learnt in Biology class that not everyone can do this

That i still wonder what life would have been like if my parent's marriage had not crashed

That i love, love my siblings, that if there was another life, i would want them to be my siblings again, though i would probably ask for different parents ;)

That i get pure joy from watching my super cute nephew of 18 months dance, he is such a good dancer, he really is happy feet!


That i won't read some books because the way the paper smells give me a headache, i remember one giant novel my mum gave me when i was about nine or so ..never could read it, it stank!

That i use a large print bible, i can't imagine using those purse sized ones, it is torture to read prints that small everyday

That i often wonder what people see in sugar cane, the effort to get the sweetness out is just too much in my opinion, its much easier to lick sugar cubes..

Hope everyone is enjoying their weekend xoxo!



* An actress in the 80s, specializing in martial art films

Sunday, September 9, 2012

I Still Want You -Tramaine Hawkins

Here is an oldie, i have loved this song like forever, it always ministers to me when i am down, here is 'I still want you by' Tramaine Hawkins





                                     Lyrics

I begin to give up on me
When i took a look at reality
I said, what am i still trying for?
Lord you don't need me anymore

It must have been something that i had done
to make you choose another one
Why am i still i this race?
I know i am losing my place
Then he told me

Chorus:
I still want you
I still need you
Nobody else can do
What i want you to do
That's why i created you

I am the one who knows who you are
I'll take you near and i'll take you far
Tramaine, ill never leave you alone
you'll never be on your own

You said, now don't you worry i don't forget
I have never broken one promise yet
You must begin to see
That's why i created you


Chorus:
I still want you
I still need you
Nobody else can do
What i want you to do
That's why i created you



Friday, August 31, 2012

Thank God it's Friday :)


TGIF WEEKLY CHART


Monday 

Mad as hell!



Tuesday 

Slowly coming out of it...



Wednesday 

But not quite there, so you better watch it ...



Thursday

The end of the work week is in sight :)



Friday & Saturday

TGIF, I love my Saturday!!!


Sunday Afternoon

Oh - oh!



Sunday night

Here we go again!!!  

I don't know who came up with this chart, honestly, if i knew who they were, i would give them the credit, because this chart is awesome, it so aptly describes my week in relation to working...

TGIF!!!!!! and Happy new month everyone...   :)

Saturday, August 4, 2012

Random Thoughts

1) I can't believe its been a month since i blogged, life is just spinning by so fast , i can't seem to catch a break, i really didn't mean to disappear again, i promise, and i do try to read as much of your blogs as i can.
2) I spent a week in Osun state with my sweet grandmother , i went with my husband and my son, and it was so relaxing, its been ages since i ate correct  moin moin made with palmoil. Lagos has removed all the rest from me sha.

3) I am truly worried for this country, it seems our leaders are just playing/fooling with us, Nigeria leaders are so absurd and cruel
4) I no longer read newspapers, the head lines alone upset me, so i don't bother to give myself further grief. Although i try to watch Channels news from time to time, so as not to be too out of touch
5) My spirit has left my job completely, i am so tired of the politics, unprofessionalism and the strife, mostly the strife, why are people so mean spirited?.. my boss needs to have his head checked for sure, i sometimes wish someone ( preferably me) would knock him out and take him for a psychiatric evaluation or maybe deliverance, but who will bell the cat?  is it the employees that are busy licking his ass or me who is ready to resign at a moment's notice? it remains to be seen..
6) I have finally decided to go see a doctor so i can try again for a second child? at least if i can't get  my dream job, make i get bele*, she wants us to try naturally for three months, in case the effect of the IUD is the cause of the delay, she wont do any tests before then. She has been  a doctor for over 30 years so who am i to argue..so its time to get busy ;)
7) The Olympics or any sporting event always make me wish i was athletic, always. Meanwhile Nigeria please win a medal, please, any medal will do, i hope Bad luck is not the problem here o (pun intended)


8) It will soon be September, that means it will soon be Christmas and a new hopefully better year, i had such high hopes for this year but all i can say it .. 2012 please go quickly abeg*
9) I am in a mode called desperate, i feel like my life depends on some things happening and only God can do those things for me, and i need him to answer me like 6 months ago, so i pray all the time now, even when i am walking on the streets. I know that to the man on the streets, it looks like i am talking to my self, but soliloquy is in my genes already..so there!
10) I saw this quote on a friend's facebook page :
@RickWarren: Prayer is sometimes passionate worship,sometimes difficult work, sometimes heated warfare,sometimes a nice walk together.
 and  realised that, that is exactly how prayer is to me, it was quite comforting really :)
11) Does anyone know what happened to Asha?, i really miss her on blogville, i hope everything is alright with her.

Alright folks enjoy the weekend! xoxo

Pidgin English for
* Get Pregnant
** Please

Tuesday, July 3, 2012

Driving in Lagos - different folks,different drives!

*Blows dust from blog* Its been a while since i posted, and my excuse is that i have been busy and i have not really had time to blog, i will try and do better .

 I have wanted to write on driving in Lagos for the longest time, here goes...


I would label driving in Lagos as an art of some sorts.It took me years to conquer my fear of driving in Lagos, and i am not a fearful person by nature. Driving in this city is just, well chaos, and there are several reasons for this. One of the factors that contribute to the insanity that is called driving in this state are the players. These are my observations from driving in Lagos, i might be exaggerating ....

There are several classes of drivers in Lagos, the major ones are below:

Okada Riders
The motor cycles are locally called Okadas, and most Okada riders are in the business of transporting passengers commercially.They are in demand because we do not have a very good road network and frankly due to the highly unpredictable nature of Lagos traffic, taking a Okada can sometimes be the difference between getting to work on time and getting to work an hour later, traffic from CMS to VI anyone??..I did this severally just after i had my son, i was breastfeeding for hours at night and just could not meet up with the staff bus most of the time, and on the days when hubby could not take me to work, viola! ( please don't judge me). Okada riders usually do not follow traffic rules, they run red lights and generally cut you off in traffic without a thought to safety, most do not wear helmets and they are never at fault even if they clearly were. They risk their lives and that of their passengers daily, am certain they believe they are immortals. When driving avoid them.


Keke Marwa Drivers
The tricylcle from India, made popular by the military governor of Lagos state in the 90s, Colonel Marwa, is another nuisance on the road, The Keke Marwa drivers try to squeeze into every crevice when there is traffic and cut corners carelessly, i wonder a lot at how they drive, don't they know that they are not as balanced as the conventional car with four wheels and could topple over very easily? does this fact stop them?, of course not .. be ready to press your brakes at a moments notice when they are around.


Taxi Drivers
Taxi drivers in Lagos are popularly known as Oko Ashewo , please don't ask me what that means, if you were a newbie in Lagos and you happened to be driving behind a taxi, you would mostly likely see an elderly looking man ( they are usually elderly), and you would assume that he was a seasoned driver and that you had nothing to fear right?..WRONG. The Lagos taxi man might be a good driver, he might, but on any given day he is more concerned about getting passengers than about the safety of other road users. Taxis will stop in the middle of the road once they are flagged by a potential customer without hesitation. So if you were driving behind a taxi man, be on your guard, because you will need to press your brakes in a split second to avoid running into him, that, i promise you. The taxis we grew up with were usually old cars and were either unpainted cars (locally called Kabu Kabu) or cars painted in yellow with black stripes. However in recent years there have been an influx of numerous taxi companies, these companies have really nice cars, some complete with uniformed drivers.  Pictures are below for your your viewing pleasure ..you're welcome!

                                                                                                 
Good old Taxis
New Taxis




Danfo Drivers 
The most popular commercial bus in Lagos is known as a Danfo. The average Danfo driver has homonal imbalance in my opinion, either that or they are possessed by some spirit of self destruction, they drive like they get a medal every time they bash or scratch their vehicles, and they have no problems scratching yours. Who else would change lanes without indicating or race into an express road without looking out for other drivers knowing very well that he does not have the right of way?, Danfo drivers of course...they have never ceased to amaze me with the kind of risks they take, the norm for them is for the conductor to hang by the door, and shout to attract passengers, they just seem unable to sit down in the bus ..smh..I have boarded /heard of Danfos who have done one/more of the following misdeeds:
Having no spare tyre even though his four Tyres are thread bare
Having no carjack for changing said Tyres
Has a faulty radiator yet had no container of water (note water is free,all that is required is a container)
No side mirrors
Brake lights and pointers that do not work
No rear view mirrors
No doors
Windows that cannot be shut ( imagine when it rains)
Leaky Roofs (imagine the rain again)
Clearly the Danfo drivers are unpredictable and unwell, plus they think they are stunt men, please exercise extreme caution when it comes to them

Molue Drivers
The now nearly extinct Lagos city transport were called Molues. The people who drove them were renowned for their trade mark driving styles which comprises of bullying and intimidating other road users with their size, they are fine with running you off the road if you stand in their way and they break every traffic law imaginable.  We hardly see them anymore on Lagos roads and i have only mentioned them here because they have upgraded to another form..


BRT Bus Drivers
 The BRT buses are a favorite among Lagos commuters because they have their own lanes and they are a good and safe way to beat traffic. The drivers of BRT buses on the other hand, must have been the same one who drove molues before they were phased out because they drive in the same exact way ( with a modern twist of course) the only differences being that their vehicles are much nicer and they can't break traffic rules because they are a law unto themselves.When crossing BRT lanes while driving, please do so cautiously.


Trailer Drivers
The trailers who transport shipping line containers are accidents waiting to happen, it seems all the people who drive such vehicles are perceptually high on a narcotic, because they carry containers without securing them and still drive at top speed, seriously, who drives like that? (smh). These trailers have tipped over on other cars, causing death ( sadly) more than once, when driving keep them at a safe distance and if you happen to find yourself in the next lane to them, move as soon as possible.


Tanker Drivers
Also as dangerous as trailer drivers, these drivers are also constantly high on something , they can often be seen driving at top speed, with their horns blaring, they are telling you CLEARLY that they will not slow down for you, even if you have the right of way, if they are anywhere around you ..flee !

The Regular Drivers 
Then there are the  rest of us who drive everyday defensively with ogboju*, and who have Psalm 23 vs 1* engraved on our hearts...


* Bravado
* The lord is my shepherd, i shall not want

Wednesday, June 6, 2012

When hope is cut short...


' Our dead are never dead to us until we have forgotten them' - George Elliot

The crash is still so unreal, its seems it was a bad dream and we will soon wake up and all will be well. The young mother who perished with her husband, four kids, mother, and cousins was my junior in secondary school, we were not friends but i knew her, one of the air hostesses is a friend of a friend, i am told she was to get married in July, my brother's good friend lost her husband of two years in this same crash. I as a person, lost no immediate family or friends on Sunday yet the tears keep coming,  ....I weep for those who lost loved ones, i weep for the lives that were cut short, hopes that have been dashed, generations that have been wiped out ..we should never forget them, they and all the people who have lost their lives due to other plane crashes, road accidents caused by bad roads, hospitals that are poorly maintained, (all deaths that could and should have been prevented)....we should never forget, because life is precious and it is a gift....  

The link below is an effort by Myne to do something in honour of the crash victims, please click on the link to learn more 



He will swallow up death in victory; and the Lord GOD will wipe away tears from off all faces; and the rebuke of his people shall he take away from off all the earth: for the LORD hath spoken it. 
Isaiah 25: 28


Friday, May 25, 2012

I have been tagged!



Okay, I got tagged by Uche .I have been putting off doing this for a while now because... okay, lets just get started.


The Rules
You must post 11 things about yourself. Answer the questions that your tagger posted for you. Create 11 questions, then choose 11 people and tag them to answer your questions. Don't forget to let them know they have been tagged. No tag backs.




11 Things you may not know about me 

1) I had some form of  Hypoglycemia as a child, and it followed me into adulthood. I had no idea of course that was what it was called, i just used to have minor fainting spells and get really weak and dizzy, until i drank something with sugar like a bottle of coke. As you can imagine fasting was impossible for me during that period of my life. The intensity wore off as i grew older, but i still had it occasionally as an adult.  The first time my then boyfriend ( now husband) saw me in this state, he was like "are you kidding me?, after that he would be the first to run and get me coca cola..lol!. It just stopped miraculously when i was pregnant for my son. I can fast now!


2) I am not photogenic, without sounding vain, i usually look way much better in real life than in pictures. So i did not really like my wedding pictures because digital photography was just basic when i got married, if only....


3 ) To the complete horror of my dear mum, i am not a fruits person, there, i said it ..i have to remind myself to eat fruits because i know it is healthy, i try, i really do, also i can count the numer of fruits i even like on one hand ..smh


4) I have a compulsive habit of going to check after i have locked the house or the car in case it's actually not locked or going back to check the gas cylinder to make sure i have indeed turned the knob off. My mum was like that when we were growing up, she would drive (or walk as the case may be) a few blocks and tell one of us to go check if the front door was properly locked, drove us all crazy..just imagine, after all my irritation at her for this habit, i have become my mother!


5) I dont know where my left and right hands are instinctively, i did devise a way to memorise where my right hand is sha, (of course then i'll know which was my left ) and my sense of direction is embarrassing, i get lost all the time.


6) When i am very upset about something, my usual reaction is eating, sometimes crying but mostly eating, i stuff myself with sugary food and ice cream till i feel better or full, .. whichever comes first, i hear there is a name for this..


7) I love eating with my fingers, its almost sensual they way it makes me feel, is that creepy? (i am clearly a tad strange ), but i enjoy the food so much more that way, i really do. Eating swallows are my excuse to eat with my finger wherever, i don't ever use a fork/spoon for those, and i also have to eat chicken and chips with my fingers with tons of ketchup, no matter where i am (don't worry, i can make it look dainty) ha!


8) TTC (trying to conceive) has taken a back seat in my life, i never thought i could get here, so obsessed was i to have another child, but here it is, i got here, i did. Its's a case of hope deferred makes the heart sick (proverbs 13 :12). I hardly think about it, i certainly don't check my ovulation dates or schedule sex or even take pregnancy tests anymore... zilch..it will happen when it does..i hope it's a girl though.


9) I think that maybe something might be wrong with me, apparently i can be so intense that i have to have an obsession at any point in time it seems, since TTC has moved to maybe number 15 on my to - do list, my new obsession is getting a new job. Seriously i am obsessed and who can blame me?, i really dislike my job, i love my industry but everything about the company i am working for is bleh! ..My boss, my job processes, my boss, my office environment, my boss, my colleague with huge self esteem issues ( take your pick). I need to move before i kill somebody..pray for me.

10) My husband does my eyebrows for me. How it happened was that when we were dating he accompanied me to the saloon to have my eyebrows done. Afterwards he said, 'you pay for that? i can do it for you', i told him he didn't have the know - how, he assured me he could learn most things by just observing. The next time he offered to experiment help me with it, i allowed him with a little ( okay a lot) of trepidation, and... it was perfect, i have not looked back since..

11) I love coffee with the same intensity i hate tea, BUT, i can't really drink coffee, because caffeine makes me nervous so, my cup of coffee consists of about ten granules of coffee and tons of milk if it normal coffee, or i just take decaf.

Answers to Uche's questions

I) What would you do with your life if you knew money would never be a problem?
Travel, i love to travel, i would do a new city each week...or maybe not, but travel it is!

2) Do you believe in one soul mate for each person?
I would have to say no, but i believe in being compatible concerning the most important things, and i believe in  God's direction so before you take the plunge, pray like your life depends on it (because it does).

3) When last did you cry?
Two days ago, i am close to tears a lot nowadays

4) What would you change about yourself if you could, physically or otherwise?
Physically, would love to have been taller and fairer and would love to have genes like my hubby ( he doesnt gain weight no matter how much sugar he eats).
Otherwise, i wish i spoke slowly and was less impulsive

5) Books or movies? 
Books definitely , then again a good love story in movies is irresistible

6) What was the most fun you had this week
This has been a lame week, or actually i am kinda lame,  the highlight of my week was probably planning my summer vacation, does that count?

7) Have you ever struggled with an addiction?
Why the past tense?, i am still struggling, there is sleep, sugary stuff , ill just stop there..

8) What's the quickest way for a member of the opposite sex to get your attention
Be handsome, smart and artistic ( music or art)

9) Do you like or show public displays of affection? 
Yes to a 'reasonable' degree, i do not like to attract attention, so the degree is very reasonable.

10) Are you currently holding a grudge against anyone? 
Sadly a bit, my Boss

11) What is the quickest way for a member of the opposite sex to lose your interest
I hate people who are mean spirited, lazy or shallow in that order but anyone of these qualities, qualifies for a a dash in the opposite direction when it comes to the opposite sex.

I am sorry, i do not have space in my brain to create 11 questions. Looking for 11 people to tag is hard enough, so i have tagged the following 9 people since it seems everyone in blogville has been tagged already twice. Everyone please answer Uche's 11 questions above. Thanks  ..  phew!

Miss Fab
Ngina
Naija Rookie
Dosh
Ms Buki
Sasi
Bionic woman
Mister Wendal
Emaleecious

Friday, May 11, 2012

Liebster Award

 

So i was given the Liebster award by Relentless and Okeoghene, yay for me!..thank you ladies. I am told the word 'Liebster' means 'Beloved' 'Favourite' 'Dearest' and the awaard is for bloggers with less than 200 followers who are inspiring.

The rules for accepting this award are:

* link back to the person who gave you the award and thank them.

Thank you ladies, i truly appreciate this gesture.

*Post the award to your blog.

Already done..

* Give the award to five bloggers you appreciate and value

That would be a problem, i don't seem to know any blogger who has not yet gotten this award. So i award whoever has not gotten this award yet. ( ain't i clever) :)

Wednesday, May 9, 2012

Thinking I might be trying to self destruct?

I walked a mile with pleasure
She chatted all the way;
But left me none the wiser
For all she had to say

I walked a mile with sorrow 
But ne'er a word said she ;
But, oh! the things i learnt from her 
When sorrow walked with me

                                                 - Robert Browning Hamilton



I would like to live in a bubble of happiness and joy all the time, but i can't. I love to laugh a lot and out loud because i know the moments in life are fleeting and one should be happy for the now. I wish i could be an optimist but i am not. I am unable to watch movies where there is a lot of blood shed and violence, i can't think 'this is just a movie', i think 'what if this was real life' and i either stop the movie or get up and leave. Why do i keep reading /watching the sad stuff, i have no idea. I know my secondary temperament is melancholic, even though i am primarily someone who is friendly and outgoing , i think and feel everything deeply and i believe, scratch that, i know there is so much more to learn from hardship than from pleasure. I love pleasure, i do, but in recent years, i have strangely began to embrace hardship too, at least i try to be brave and not whine too much. For instance, i read this blog, where a mother lost her son in a flood and every time i read it, my heart aches and i cry, but i keep going back to read it.

Why do i read An Inch of Gray?, probably to keep reminding myself that life and all good things are precious and not to be taken for granted, i read it to remind my self to be patient and not to complain about my very feisty son.They say motherhood changes you in more ways than the physical, well i say understatement does not even define that statement, it changes your entire perception on everything. I could read a story about a dead child before now and be really sober and all, but after having my own child, such stories wreck me to the depths of my soul.

 I started writing this post just after i read her last post, which moved me to tears again and i did feel as if i was just looking for a reason to be sad, i don't think so right now, i just feel so grateful because i am not  better than her...



Thursday, April 19, 2012

I have Learnt...





“Life is a classroom. we are both student and teacher. each day is a test. and each day we receive a passing or failing grade in one particular subject: Grace..... grace is compassion, gratitude, surrender, faith, forgiveness, good manners, reverence, and the list goes on. It's something money can't buy and credentials rarely produce. Being the smartest, the prettiest, the most talented, the richest, or even the poorest, can't help. Being a humble person can and being a helpful person can guide you through your days with grace and gratitude.”- Philosophy


 "Life is a classroom in which each of us is being tested, tried and passed”   - Thibodeau, Robert

I have learnt in 'this classroom'...
  1. That the God who set the planets in orbit cares for me even in the little ways
  2. That God is always faithful, despite my consistent unfaithfulness
  3. To be grateful for life and health, these are not promised.
  4. That friends are not forever, some friends are seasonal.
  5. That true and loyal friends are worth their weight in gold.
  6. That even if you have all the facts, you might not be right after all,
  7. That the best of men are still men at the very best
  8. That even an awesome husband makes a very poor god
  9. That marriage is hard work, and its not for the faint of heart
  10. That sometimes love is not enough, other little things are important too, like a pinch of salt to a dish
  11. To accept that its not so bad being a 'glass is half empty'  kinda girl, i am usually shielded from the heart break that sometimes accompanies optimism.
  12. That family is important, they will always be there for you no matter what
  13. Talking to the right people when you have lost your way is a blessing, they can guide you back. 
  14. That mentors are necessary, because no one knows it all
  15. Better to learn from other people's mistakes, you don't need first hand experience
  16. That hind sight is usually 20/20, better to be cautious.
  17. That my inability to deal with regret well, has made me paranoid when i have to make important decisions
  18. To accept myself and try to improve on what i can, *know yourself no be curse
  19. That trust is fragile, it is so hard to get back once lost
  20. That life is a tedium, it helps to be joyful through it
  21. That children are a gift from God, they are precious but not guaranteed.
  22. That i was naive to expect to get pregnant for my second child as easily as the first.
  23. That getting pregnant for some is not as easy as just having unprotected sex
  24. That infertility is very real, whether primary or secondary it sucks, it's the death of a dream
  25. That wanting something badly does not guarantee you will get it, neither is doing all you can do to get it
  26. That life is not always fair, pray for God's mercy
  27. That the race is not to the swift or the battle to the strong, nor does food come to the wise or wealth to the brilliant or favour to the learned, but time and chance happens to them all. (Ecclesiastes 9 :11)
  28. That the life lessons i refused to learn or that i learnt half way were waiting for me in the future, i am a better student now .
  29. That people are not as nice as they pretend to be, so guard yourself
  30. That people usually assume you are as good, kind, bad, petty, conniving as they themselves are no matter what you say
  31. That we see things not as they are, but as we are, we assume others are as we are.
  32. That it always pays to be kind, the happiness you give to others returns to shine on you
  33. That this is a true saying.. 'Do all the good you can, by all the means you can, in all the ways you can, in all the places you can, at all the times you can, to all the people you can, as long as ever you can' - John Wesley
  34. Not to sweat the little things, what will not matter in say, five years time is not really important no matter how much attention it is demanding right now.
I will add to this list as i keep learning...




* Pidgin English proverb meaning; it's imperative to know one's capabilities. 

Friday, March 30, 2012

Everything that glitters

I am feeling like some country music today, i love this song and i dedicate it to fellow Leo and country music lover, Toinlicious, its has a moving and beautiful story behind it and strange?( in my opinion).. i can't imagine leaving my kid for whatever reason, it's simply impossible..or is it just me?. Btw, thank God it's Friday :)

Here is Dan Seal singing Everything that glitters is not gold







Lyrics:
Everything That Glitters (Is Not Gold)
Dan Seals

Saw your picture on a poster, in a cafe out in Phoenix
Guess you're still the sweet heart of the rodeo
As for me and little Casey, we still make the circuit
In a one horse trailer and a mobile home
And she still asks about you all the time
And I guess we never even cross your mind

But oh sometimes I think about you
And the way you used to ride out
In your rhinestones and your sequins
With the sunlight on your hair
And oh the crowd will always love you
But as for me I've come to know
Everything that glitters is not gold

Well old Red he's getting older, and last Saturday he stumbled
But you know I just can't bear to let him go
Little Casey she's still growing and she's started asking questions
And there's certain things a man just doesn't know
Her birthday came and you never even called
I guess we never cross your mind at all

But then sometimes I think about you
And the way you used to ride out
In your rhinestones and your sequins
With the sunlight on your hair
And oh the crowd will always love you
But as for me I've come to know
Everything that glitters is not gold

Everybody said you'd make it big someday
And I guess that we were only in your way
But someday I'm sure your gonna know the cost
Cause for everything you win there's something lost

But oh sometimes I think about you
And the way you used to ride out
In your rhinestones and your sequins
With the sunlight on your hair
And oh the crowd will always love you
But as for me I've come to know
Everything that glitters is not gold

Wednesday, March 28, 2012

The way we talk - Questions and yet more questions!

You have probably heard the saying that a Nigerian will answer a question with another question, or maybe you have not heard. Well i have discovered that this is true, i have seen this happen often, but you know what else is true?, Nigerians can carry on a conversation for five minutes with just questions. Its intriguing, we did something like that on face book sometime ago and every one kept on adding to the conversation, it was really funny.


 The scenario was just for fun, it involved two friends who were having a conversation, we will call them Friend A and Friend B ( There will be a lot of pidgin English in there because it flows better that way), here goes, off the top of my head...

Friend A : How far? you no dey call person?
Friend B : why i go call you? you buy me credit?

Friend A : na quarrel? i no fit play with you again?
Friend B : which kin mumu play be that? you don see Ade as per our deal?
Friend A : my brother, wahala gree me see road?
Friend B : okay , make we go block Ade for weekend?

Friend A : You go show?
Friend B : why i no go show?, make we meet after the match on saturday?

Friend A : which match?, you mean say you still dey follow that yeye team?
Friend B : take time o, who dey follow yeye team?

I bet you can add to this conversation easily..if you are made in Nigeria!

Friday, March 23, 2012

A Letter to my son

I wrote this in honour of my son's fourth birthday on Feb 12,  i am just posting it now... 






Dear Jesse,

Its been four years since you became part of our lives, and life as we know it has changed so much. I remember realising that i was two days late for my period and ignoring the fact, it wasn't the first time my period was late. Then there was the caution i felt in my spirit, as i ran to catch the staff bus because i was running late again. I remember buying the pregnancy test from the pharmacy that evening on the way home, and waking your dad up early the next morning so he could watch me POAS* because he wanted us to do it together. I remember waiting with bated breath for the full three minutes before checking the test. It was positive!.


I remember that my first response was relief, immense relief because i have always had a secret fear that maybe i was infertile (always the persimist ), then wonder that i was indeed carrying a baby, i was carrying you.

Being pregnant was a breeze, i had no morning sickness whatsoever, i was almost super human in the way i carried on, my only challenge then was a very stressful job, a terrible boss, and horrendous traffic which resulted in hours and hours of me sitting in a staff bus holding my pee. I remember when i started bleeding at 14 weeks while at work, i remember calling your dad, and him praying for me over the phone, i never saw blood again. I remember our disappointment when we were told you were a boy, i think i was in shock, your dad was so disappointed, we had both wanted and prayed for a girl, we quickly moved on after that and prepared for life with blue instead of pink!, and let me tell you i love blue, i do.



 Labour was terrible, 'how appropriate', i thought to myself, pregnancy was too easy for me, and there had to be some sort of payback. I remember feeling as if i was going to die, it took a whole day for you to come and the doctors were thinking you might be distressed, you were not, you seemed to be having fun at my expense, with me pushing as hard as i could and you refusing to show. I remember the indescribable relief and awe i felt when you finally came out and i remember hearing your father saying Jesus, over and over again as you made your grand entrance.You wailed your heart out, you had, you still have, such powerful lungs. 

We have gone through some stuff together, you and me, haven't we? starting with that seemingly never ending labour of almost two days, i still can't understand why it took so long for your umbilical cord stump to fall off. Then i did not lactate for the first week and when my milk finally came, it was never enough, even though i tried everything from modern medicine to old wives' methods, nothing worked. I remember the frustration, the tears and feeling like i had somehow failed you. But you grew on formula, didn't you my prince and no one could tell the difference. I remember your first ear infection, and when you had boils all over your face, so bad that my baby looked like someone i did not recognize. 

How can i forget the time you were admitted twice within two weeks, for a nameless infection, i remember your dad being so upset with the hospital and your pediatrician because they seemed so relaxed about it, how i gained new respect for mothers during that period, its not easy sleeping in a hospital for nearly two weeks, motherhood is indeed hard work. I remember also the happy times, introducing you to new things and watching your wonder - filled face is always a pleasure, i remember our first holiday as a family, your first plane ride, your first day at school. I could go on and on. 



You are the sunshine in our world, and you make us laugh everyday with your funny and witty ways, you make us scream everyday too, why can't you just sit still? and why are you always screaming?. We would do anything to make you happy, still working on the baby sister you always ask for though, soon my darling, i hope soon. You know, the love of a mother is a funny thing, and i thought i understood it, i thought i knew it when i had you four years ago, it was only a glimpse, only a seed, and it has grown, how it has grown, and it keeps growing every day into something more beautiful than i had ever imagined, so this is what loving a child means, its beautiful, i am blessed, i am grateful. Happy birthday my love, i wish you many more years in happiness and health, thank you for being my son, i love you always to the farthest star and back! 


Love always

Mom

* Pee on a stick 

Sunday, March 4, 2012

Here i am to worship

Micheal W Smith singing, Here i am to worship, i love this song ..lyrics are included

Friday, March 2, 2012

The way we talk - 'pound it in' syndrome!

I saw a status update on a friend's facebook page, he commented on how Nigerians always say things twice, and he gave examples, words like corner corner, thief thief, talk talk, copy copy, follow follow, chop chop, scatter scatter, cry cry, are everyday vocabulary to the average Nigerian. He made me laugh, and decide to finally finish writing this post. I have honestly not felt like writing, i am not having a dry spell, i have things to write, but its the putting of my fingers to the keyboard that is the challenge (laziness i guess).

Nigerians love to repeat things, i have no idea why. Even the names of some foods are simply syllables being repeated ... Moin Moin, Chin Chin, Kuli Kuli, Dodo..our language is repetitious, but not only in the way my friend pointed out, also in another way, i call it the 'pound it in' syndrome. We put words together that mean the same thing, emphasis i guess, just in case you missed it the first time ..look at the list below, all these words can be said alone but we invariably always say them together in Naija, we all use at least one of these words.

Night vigil
Short knicker
Jeans pant
Bend corner
Mr man ( this one kills me!)
Reverse back
Revert back
Reason why
Tail end

 Did i forget any ?

Sunday, February 19, 2012

I love the lord by Whitney Houston

I was devastated by the passing of Whitney Houston last week, but i kind of  blanked it out of my mind because i was busy preparing for my son's birthday celebrations. I was really rooting for her to kick her habit and make a come back, alas, it was not meant to be and sadly so. I grew up listening to her music, and when she started making movies, i watched The Bodyguard about a million times ( i love Kevin Costner too), i watched all her movies, i listened to all her CDS , my friends and i would try singing like her while playing the CD of course that was impossible but always fun for us. Whitney was a song bird, there was joy in her every note, clearly that woman was born to sing. She is gone now and will be missed terribly, she was buried yesterday. Farewell Whitney no one sings like you, you will always be remembered because your music lives on. 


                               I love the Lord (from The preacher's wife)


                 Lyrics

I love the the Lord, he heard my cry
And pitied every groan, long as I, I live
And troubles rise, I hasten to his throne
Chorus:
Oh, I love the Lord
I sure do, surely do love the Lord
He heard, he heard my cry
And pitied every groan, yes he did
Every groan
Long as I live, long as I, I live
And troubles rise, troubles rise
I hasten to to to to to
I'll hasten, I'll hasten to his throne
I'll hasten to his throne hold on hold on
Tears are streaming down my eyes
I'll hasten, I'll hasten to his throne
Yes I will, I'll run
I know I can go to his throne
I know I can go, I know I can go
I'll hasten, I'm gonna run
I know I can go, I know I can go
I'll hasten, I'll hasten to his throne
See I can run, Lord you know I will
When there is nowhere to go I know I can go to you
I know I can run to you oh
I'll hasten, I'll hasten to his, his throne
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
I'll hasten, hasten to his throne
Surely gonna be here

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