Sunday, August 25, 2013

Hello and see ya!

Hi Folks,

I am apologizing once again for my disappearance (sigh), so much is happening, and i have not found the inspiration to sit behind a computer to blog, maybe i have writer's block? ...

All is well with me and my family and shout out to everyone who asked after me, Toin, Sykik , Joie and Ginger especially. Real life is happening and i should be back in about two months ( more or less) to give you an update.... i will still find time to read your blogs and comment and if something interesting comes up, i might be back from my hiatus early, who knows?

I will leave you with this awesome video ( if you haven't already seen it) , i have watched it over and over again and each time the dance moves and lines still get me. The maker of this video should take a bow, that is all.  You dey feel am?

Laters



video

Monday, May 6, 2013

Evolution

Hi Everyone,

Its been ages, so sorry i disappeared again. I know i really should do better, i know. I am not sure what to call this post, since i am not a poet or anything, but it came to me while going down memory lane one day, please tell me what you think...

*****************************

Evolution; The gradual development of something, especially from a simple  to a complex form 



               This post is dedicated to all my friends, the old and the new, the past and the present ....

                                          source

                           Twenty children cannot play together for twenty years - Nigerian proverb


Young girls;
We played ludo, ten ten, suwe, police and thief, we cooked vegetables in make believe pots and beat our dolls senseless, in our make believe classrooms, life was all fun and games, boys were gross and dirty, the world was at our feet...

Secondary school students;
A grand adventure secondary school proved to be, surely the boarding house was our karma for all the years we were naughty, the fear of the senior girl lent much wisdom, we made life long friends, we believed we were special and competed in academics, sports and bragged about who could read the fattest novels, and we agreed that some boys could be sorta, kinda, maybe... cute....the playing field was level..


Teenagers;
The end of secondary school is in sight, there is no use denying that we are not all equal, we are not all gifted, we are not all rich, and we are not all drop dead gorgeous; the last two facts emerge just at the time teenage hormones begin to rage, this realisation brings much confusion, maybe the world does revolve around cute boys, and the playing field? not so level after all...


Young Ladies;
The gap widens, and becomes manifest; there were those who had to do the *JAMB exam more than once, while some aced the exams at first sitting, there were those who had the luxury of schooling abroad, while some had to make do with schooling here. We are all hopeful, we are all starry eyed,  we all go through the system, university education will make it all better it seems, we will find love, we will all have a good life..only, the boyfriend who was supposed to become the husband backs out at the last minute, the girlfriend realises she has out grown the man she thought she loved, a friend dies after an asthma attack, a friend's boyfriend is rusticated because of cultism, a family fortune changes because of the loss of  the bread winner, life actually, is full of surprises ....



Post University Ladies
The years have sped past, we all emerge victorious, armed with our degrees, our battle scars and hope, we are all to go for *NYSC,  those who schooled outside of Nigeria return and we meet again. NYSC is made from the very fabric of life, nothing goes as planned, from the arrival of the call up letter to the place of primary posting. If only the worst scenario were of those who for a plethora of reasons could not not make their NYSC batch, sadly it is not, some went for NYSC and never returned ..


Job huntin' Ladies
We all enter the already saturated labour market, we are all on the look out for the dream job. Career paths are decided, the right jobs comes to different people for different reasons; brains, luck, looks, connection, the rest keep hope alive, it will be their turn soon, how soon it comes however is not certain, All fingers are not equal...


Single Ladies
The race to find a mate begins, the 'bad' girls have got this one it seems, When are you getting married is the song on the lips of everyone, the next degree on the horizon is the "MRS", one by one, most of us get hitched and life really begins?......


Married women
We soon realise like those before us, that marriage is not the end of life, there is so much more... marriage it seems, is so very like a house, the foundation is the most important part, like a bank account you can only withdraw what you put in, we discover that life does not always deliver on our expectation no matter how much we pray/wish for it, what life requires now, is adjustments....

Mothers
Motherhood or the lack of it brings with it its own heart ache, the one who has been married for years and is still waiting for this precious fruit, the one waiting for the second child that is taking its merry time, the one who keeps trying to get the elusive male or female child as the case may be, the one who accidentally gets pregnant for a fourth child and nearly loses her marriage, a friend struggling to conceive, dies after a fibroid operation goes wrong.... a Yoruba proverb says so wisely ' For the woman who has a child, it is the child that will kill her and for the woman who has none, its the child ***( rather the lack of) that will kill her' .O life, you are not meant to be understood after all, or are you?.....


Life begins at forty, as the saying goes. And as the big 40 approaches with the promise of a rebirth, we wait, we dream, we hope, we laugh, we cry, we pray, meanwhile, life continues to evolve....

* JAMB ; Joint Admissions and Matriculation Board
**  NYSC ; National Youth Service Corps
***emphasis mine

Friday, March 15, 2013

Awards Awards!!



Hello Folks, i am here to receive my award even though its been about a month (covers face)

Okay so i received an award from my dear  Toinlicious., thanks sweetie, you know i appreciate this, it's always great to be remembered.

The Rules


Thank and link back to the giver
Answer the giver's questions
Nominate 5 other blogs with fewer than 200 followers
Ask five questions for nominees to answer
Post it on your blog

What Makes you happy and what are you passionate about;

Family, i am passionate about my family, no matter how bad life is, put me in a room with my husband and son or my siblings as the case may be, It all melts away 

Do you remember that time five years ago you were really upset? does it matter now?;

Thinking hard... really, five years is kinda like a litmus test, i have learnt that whatever will not matter in five years time actually does not. That time that i was really upset five years ago? No, it does not matter anymore.

What would you do differently if you knew no body would judge you;

I would have studied something that i was actually interested in, at the university instead of something 'useful' . 

If you could offer a newborn child only one piece of advise what would it be;

'To thine own self be true', or 'know yourself no be curse' if he/she preferred it in pidgin English :)

Would you break the law to save a loved one?;

 Eerr, what law? all is fair in love and war joor



Drumroll please ... i tag the following five lovely bloggers

RelentlessMs Buki, Uche AnneSykikBukkyapampa

My  Questions 

Name one little thing/activity that is guaranteed to make you happy

If you could go back in time, what would you change about your life

Facebook or Twitter and why?

What is a deal breaker for you in a relationship with your significant other

What is the relationship with your siblings like if you have siblings



Alright folks this has been fun, look forward to your answers. Great weekend everyone. xoxo




Friday, February 22, 2013

The ones born nowadays - A birthday post



My son was five last week, gosh!, where has all the time gone?. I still remember the moment the doctor placed him on my abdomen right after his umbilical cord was cut, funny the things one remembers, i remember reaching out to touch this alien looking creature that was lying on me and searching deep within me for the instant bond, the instant connection that i was supposed to feel the first time i set eyes on my baby. I felt nothing, and i didn't care. You see, i was just so exhausted from a labor that had lasted for a whole day and i just wanted to eat and sleep.

I am amazed at the quantum leap that has been taken by that tiny bundle in just five years. I really haven't paid enough attention; so i am unable to say which generation is generation 'X' or generation 'Y', but these kids we have nowadays, are wise beyond their years. There is no end to the amount of information they are able to assimilate and actually understand. I can't count the number of times my son will do or say something and i am completely shocked ( how did he know that?). Everyone complains says the same thing about their kids, so maybe we should call these ones generation 'Z', as in, they have to be the end of the continuum because i cannot honestly imagine another generation of children being any smarter. I think it is freak-ish, seriously.

This post is not about labor nor about the generational gap and i have no idea how i got here, but i just wanted to document that at five years of age, my son is able to play any game on any phone just give him a few minutes to understand it first, he is able to power both our laptops and basically navigate it to get to games or cartoons by himself, he also says things that surprise me almost everyday. Take for instance these two conversations that took place some weeks ago;

Scene 1:; We are doing homework

Jesse: I don't understand what you have just explained to me, that's not what my teacher said ( that's his way of saying teachers are geniuses, parents are dumb)

Me: Okay i will explain it again, just listen

Jesse: I am not sure that what you are saying is correct

Me: (jokingly), come on love, i went to school too and i am smart

Jesse: ( serious look) mum, you really are not very smart

Me : ( amused) why would you say that ?

Jesse ( matter of fact- ly) because that is not what my teacher taught me. Please give me the green crayon

I reach out for the green crayon and some how my fingers curl around the orange one instead,  i had handed it to him before i realized .

Jesse: ( very matter of fact look) This is not green mum, i told you, you are not very smart. ouch!

I didn't know what to say, i finally mutter something about it being a mistake and that everyone makes mistakes... when i was recounting this to my hubby later on, he was in stitches


Scene 2: We are sitting together and watching TV

Jesse: Mum, who will marry me?

Me: I don't know that yet sweetie, when its time you will know

Jesse: When i am a dad, you will be a grandma, right?

Me:   ( happily) by the grace of God , i will be

Jesse: ( cue sad face), i don't want you to be a grandma

Me ( shocked) why?

Jesse: well i don't want you to be old like grandma and grandpa

Me: When i am old you will be grown up too, so its not a problem

Jesse: Mum i don't want you to be old, i don't want you to die, old people always die

I am looking at this boy and i am wondering ' why are you thinking such deep thoughts' ? when i was your age my world revolved around school, homework, ten ten* ( yeah i was a champion) and four o'clock ( when cartoons came up then)


I didn't know how to explain to him that life is not exactly how he understands it,  that young people die too, that no one lives for ever, and that this is just the cycle of life .. i still shudder thinking about it, here is a boy whose four grandparents are still alive and he is thinking about death and dying, what is the reference point?

Or is it one morning, just before Christmas, he had just woken up and he said 'Mum, i have something to ask you, i have been praying to Jesus to give me a brother and a sister, why is he not answering' ?, i am equal parts of surprise and awe , i replied ' keep praying sweetie he will certainly answer you', abi how i for do?

This generation eh .. na wa..

Happy Birthday to my beloved boy, you make me so happy, you amaze me and jar me all the time, i couldn't have asked for a better son. I know God will answer your prayers and give you the siblings you want because he knows how much you love kids. I am blessed beyond measure that you are my son and so grateful. I love you to all the planets and back .


A children's game in the eighties*

Friday, January 25, 2013

Driving in Lagos - rules of the road

I somehow forgot to post this, i did intend to finish this series last year...sorry can't edit anymore, even though we now have new 'issues' on Lagos roads....


There are unspoken rules for driving in this city, some of the rules are below;

Assume every road user is either a learner or partially demented, in other words, practice defensive driving always!

Its a false assumption to think that drivers actually notice the lanes on Lagos roads, get used to the constant evolving of new lanes.

Some pedestrians are unbelievably careless when crossing the roads etc, slow down when getting to a bus stop, you never know who has a death wish

People will tail gate you, try not to stop suddenly.

You will get cut off without warning a lot, and still get blamed  for rear ending someone, be ready to apply your breaks rather quickly

Learn to ignore car horns, because you will hear them all day, just tune them out



You cannot tell what sort of vehicle is close to you, simply by the sound of their horn, okada riders have been known to fit trailer horns on their motorcycles, so there..
Your horn is your friend, use it liberally, it has many function; it can scare off Okadas riders, Danfo drivers, Trailers who pack in the middle of the road. It can warn the pedestrians who have death wishes or not ..besides the horn never hurt anybody, so just honk away!

There is no such thing as a one way in Lagos, it is somewhat imaginary, it is not an uncommon sight to see a danfo coming at you with full speed on a supposed one way...

A lot of drivers do not bother to use their pointers, they think it is optional, be super observant.

There will almost always be some idiot who will run the red light, so please  give a few seconds before proceeding on green lights, just to be safe, though the cars behind you will try to deafen you with their horns, just ask them to fly!

Please note that Lastma ( Lagos traffic officials) will turn a blind eye to a commercial driver's flgrant traffic offence and punish regular drivers for honest mistakes ( how does one know a road is only one-way without sign posts uh?). So watch your back.

Finally the new traffic laws in Lagos State are booby traps, maybe we should all just swing from trees, it might just be easier..

Nice weekend everyone...

Thursday, January 3, 2013

New Year Hopes



Happy New Year blog fam, here is to an even greater 2013 than 2012 , i was really hopefully that 2012 would deliver. That's why my last year's post was really excited (if you didn't know, i thought 2012 sucked actually, so i am not as excited this new year, but it can only get better right?), so i am really putting my money on 2013, we are alive and healthy and that means everything because when there is life there is hope..and hope does not make ashamed. Happy new year folks!

Tuesday, December 11, 2012

A Strange Friendship


I mentioned in my last post that i met an old friend, i did. Some weeks ago at a petrol station near my house, we were trying to buy fuel during one of the days of fuel scarcity, and because the attendants were only selling into kegs, i had gone home to get two extra kegs while my husband stayed on the queue. The plan was just to drop off the kegs and head back home, but my husband stopped me and introduced my 'friend' to me. I am not sure i should call him an old friend, as we had never seen each other until that moment, this is our story...


I was a reservation call center staff in an airline about eight years ago, and one day i booked a ticket for a really friendly guy on the phone, and when he sent someone to pick up his tickets, he sent me a good tip (win- win). By the time he made the next reservation, we talked some more, he asked me about my self , told me about himself, business etc and we became friends. Sometimes he would call me for bookings, sometimes he would call me just to talk. I discovered after sometime, that he was the son of a really rich and well known man (silly me, i never connected his last name). This was months to my wedding, and we remained friends. My then fiance, now husband met him, and they even did a small business venture together. We got married and he did not come for the wedding, ( he said he forgot), i was not offended, he is a super rich person and calling to remind him of my wedding just seemed like an 'overkill' to me.

We still remained 'phone' friends after i got married, he'd call usually when he needed someone to talk to or just to unwind, and i would send the occasional text message or call and he would always call me back and we would talk about his plans, growing up rich, why he was not in a hurry to get married even though he was  older than we were, what i was up too, my search for the idea job,etc.. Life happens, as it is bound to, and we stopped calling as such and sometimes we just sent the occasional sms to check up on each other (there was no facebook in those days) note; we still had not met, my husband had met him several times, he only sent me a picture and asked that i sent mine to him, which i did.
.

After a while he stopped calling and i was surprised (probably naive of me ), but just assumed he was busy and figured  it just wasn't convenient to call because he would call and spend at least 15 minutes on the phone with me on a good day. Looking back now, i think maybe it was just nice to gist with someone outside his usual circle,who was not asking him for money. Around that time also, my phone got stolen along with all my numbers and that was that, i was unable to reach him unless he called, but funny thing, my 'friend' never once called throughout this time. About two years later, i found a list with some of my numbers in an old diary,and i was so excited to see that his number was included in that list.

So i called, then called again, he neither picked up nor returned my calls, i assumed that it was either he had changed his number and i was calling someone else, or he did not have my number anymore and did not recognize who was calling, people like him do not pick calls from numbers they don't know ( do you see where this is heading?) so i send a polite text to the number asking if it was so and so person and i got no reply.. zilch..ouch!.  That just told me it was still his number and i had been snobbed, and i could not figure out why, so i called his office number twice and i was kept holding on, then told to call back...i was sad and confused, i should remind you here again that we had never actually met, we were goods friends only because we spoke on the phone a lot.

I don't take kindly to being snobbed especially by a rich person, it's just rubbing salt on the wound if you know what i mean. I told my husband and deleted his number (my husband thought i was over reacting by the way) and never called him again That was about three years ago. Sometimes i still wonder what the deal was, because we really did talk about real things, and i always enjoyed my conversations with him, he was really smart and he had traveled all over and seen many things. He once told me that i should never consider not having money a problem, he said 'a real problem was one that money could not solve'.But there it was i couldn't make him pick up my calls and i certainly wasn't going to go see him in his office and risk being embarrassed by a snotty secretary, all for someone i had never met? no way! I am factual like that.

So imagine my shock when my husband introduced us at the petrol station. If you knew me, you would know i don't mince words. The first thing i asked him was, what his problem was and why he became a  snob, at first he was shocked, then he denied it,  he said he had lost my number and couldn't remember getting a text from me blah blah, i insisted it was not so, i dared him to deny that his secretary did not tell him i had called his office at least twice, he said he had no recollection of any such incident since it was so long ago, my husband even said i was too hard on the guy, that i should be nice, so out of curiosity, and not because i always listen to my husband. Instead of going home, i stood with him and my husband on the long fuel queue and we talked about him, he said he was bored so he decided to come buy the fuel himself instead of sending someone, and he was pretty excited about it, i told him hustling was not that exciting if you do it everyday like we did. He laughed at my comment and said i had not changed one bit, and we talked about his new business, why he still wasn't married yet, my struggles with having a second child, and getting a new job, he and my husband spoke about business..  and it was just like old times. He apologised sincerely ( well it seemed so to me) and promised he would make it up to me, i told him i would forgive him only if he gets me a good job, and he agreed. I also told him i would not call unless he did so first, he said we had a deal.


I don't have an ending for this( i hate to be a tease, sorry) and i am genuinely confused all over again, because he took my number and promised he would call to redeem himself, and there is still no call almost a month later. I have not decided what to do, whether to call or send a mail at least or just accept that there was nothing happening there and move on. Your thoughts?

P. S, for all the aprokos, in case it was not clear before, he was JUST a friend, absolutely nothing happening there, if you wanna know about my love interests before hubby, maybe another post <wink wink>

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